I’m the girl that feels in between worlds.
Moving abroad is often glorified.
Many think of life abroad as the essence of youth existence. But in reality, life abroad can be lonely. Even when you have friends and a spouse with you, you can still feel disconnected from what you had in your home country.
Life becomes a series of “trying to figure it all out”. Days can be stressful episodes of long term confusion, embarrassment, and exhaustion.
I’m not saying all of this to paint my life abroad as turmoil. Because it’s not.
I’ve gained many beautiful things since moving abroad. (A loving husband is one of them.) But I still feel disconnected.
I was sitting in the Houston airport terminal reflecting on these thoughts. You don’t do much else when waiting for a flight, anyway.
As I looked around at the (mostly) Americans scattering to multiple destinations — anxious, speedy — I couldn’t help thinking that I didn’t belong here anymore.
And that leads me to my new revolution: I live in between worlds. I’m not American. And I’m not German.
I’m a hybrid puzzle piece that has many of the right curves but doesn’t fit into the puzzle piece spot anymore.
I’m a girl that feels in between worlds.
The longer I live abroad, the stronger this feeling becomes. I don’t have a solution for this, and I’m not sure there is one. It’s just how it is.
Have you felt this?